Why Are You Cast Down?

A reflection on Psalm 42

Why are you cast down, 
O my soul?
Cast, 
Like I'm shoved
Off my course, 
Careening 
Down, 
A rock tossed
Down 
Into the dark 
Crevice; 
Rocky slope
In the shaded woods. 
Why are you disquieted
Within me?
Crying every direction
Turmoil
Tumultuous
Emotions arising, 
Dwindling, 
Rising, 
Slowing, 
Ripple
On ripple
This disquieted shore. 
I seek, 
I press, 
My God
Close
And then 
Far?
It's me, it's 
Me. 
I know it's me. 
What's blocking 
Me from You?
As the deer pants
So pants my soul
For You. 
Anxious, 
Saliva dripping, 
As I empty, 
Longing to be filled
By You. 
My soul thirsts, 
Where are You?
What are You?
Come near. 
Be living, 
Be strong, 
Be abundant, 
Be You 
In me. 
When shall I come
And appear
Before You?


~ Sierra Westerholm

Photo by Morgane Le Breton on Unsplash

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Hello everyone!

Another week, and I don’t know about you, but it flew by!

Similar to my poetry strain as of late, I’ve continued to be inspired by different Scriptures, and the words are just flowing (which is a nice, not gonna lie)! And per usual, this one took me a direction I hadn’t quite intended when I started it. On a day when I was down and discouraged, I was inspired by the refrain of verses 5 and 11 of this Psalm,

Why are you cast down, O my soul?
And why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God;
For I shall yet praise Him,
The help of my countenance and my God.

and I intended to include the “hope in God” part and incorporate it into the poem. But instead, I found myself held by verse 1:

As the deer pants for the water brooks,
So pants my soul for You, O God.

And I don’t know about you, but for me, I associate this verse with cute little pictures of a deer drinking peacefully from a brook, maybe on someone’s digital wallpaper, or as a framed picture in their house.

But as I read all the verses together, the peaceful picture kinda shattered, and I realized the Psalmist was desperate, like me. Panting, careening, in a very not-peaceful state of mind.

And then, twice, the refrain of “hope in God” strikes like a bell of hope to keep him anchored.

So while I didn’t end up directly including the “hopeful” parts, it is my hope (using the word “hope” a lot, here, sorry!) that those who are familiar with the verse will remember the unspoken ending, and it can ring, a silent, whispered reminder, that God IS near, and there IS hope.

As always, have a blessed week, everyone!